December 30, 2011
Hurricane #1: The Unfinished Thesis
Seven years into college and the only thing left to do is finishing the dreaded THESIS. After recently finishing a 10K run, I finally experienced what they always say; the most difficult part of the race is the last stretch just before the finish line. You’re whole body is telling you it can’t take anything more. That’s what I felt while finishing my thesis. I thought there won’t be an end in all of those drafts. The thesis was surely the last stretch of the race. But I thank God He gave me my second wind. Prayers, wise advice and loving support from family and friends. At the end of hurricane #1, I thank God for this:
Hurricane #2: The Event
One of the worst feelings in life is suddenly being left behind. And at the wake of almost experiencing it again, I felt so shaken. Thankfully, things weren’t like they were before. This time, the leaving was for a good reason and it was just for some time. And there were stronger bonds forged after it. Though short of time, through planning and hard work by God’s grace, we were so blessed with His message for us of His kingdom. At the end of hurricane #2, I thank God for this:
Hurricane #3: Near-Death and Sickness
Almost losing 2 brothers; one through a gunshot, one through serious illnesses. Tears, sleepness nights, uncertainties, worries, agony. But also prayers. A flooding of them. Faith. Hope. Love. Generous help. Answers. A flooding of them too. It’s a most humbling and overwhelming experience of God. Who He is. How He speaks. How He moves. At the end of hurricane #3, I thank God for this:
Hurricane #4: Dying to Oneself
This one’s a privilege. But it surely isn’t easy. Preconceptions, misconceptions, biases, prejudices, pride, priorities, favorites, standards, routines, plans. Everything built in me that aren’t part of His will are being smashed down and the process is not without pain. It’s a life-long process I know but this year has been the most intense yet. Grace and thankfulness in all circumstances aren’t easy to learn. But as one dies more and more to oneself, one becomes more alive to Him. A greater capacity to experience God’s original design and order is well worth the pain. Hurricane #4 doesn’t end til life does. But at the end of this year, I thank God for enabling me to see things this way:
But there weren’t just “hurricanes” this year. There were also these super awesome moments and surprises!
You turned my wailing into dancing;
you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy,
that my heart may sing to you and not be silent.
O Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever. ~Psalm 30:11-12