note to self

Dear Life-long Learner,

I know you long to sit in a classroom and devour readings and write papers and listen to lectures and discuss with classmates and be immersed in the academic world once again. You want to watch plays and recitals and concerts and attend forums and (extra) lectures and go to galleries and museums. You want to sit under the ancient trees in the sunken garden and while away time reading a book or watching people pass by.

But you also don’t want to live a selfish life. You want to serve your Lord and Master and His people. More than anything you want to live His LOVE out loud (true and courageous) so that many more will come to know Him and awaken to the LIFE He is offering everyone.

Right now, you do not know exactly how to pursue these desires because they seem exclusive of one another. So then, you choose to stay for the mean time and continue to serve in the ways He has given you and at the same time intentionally pursue learning by taking online classes. This is what you have for now but it doesn’t mean things won’t change. And it’s not like you don’t like this at all. In fact, you quietly tell yourself this is quite the independent path, rebellious to the status quo. Independent learning. You want to seek out mentors who could guide you. One has already volunteered to be yours. You just have to ask the other one you have in mind.

Just keep tuned in to Him and He will direct you how to best live out the story He crafted for you. He knows best. He knows you best.



3 thoughts on “note to self

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  1. I can perfectly relate with you. There is an apparent tension between the two.

    As you say “Right now, you do not know exactly how to pursue these desires because they seem exclusive of one another.” I’ve been there. For years. I believe you’re on the right track. Pursuing what’s burning inside you while serving your Master at the same time. Time will come mare-resolve din yan. Just keep at it — both the writing/learning and the serving your Master part. No one can promise you how it will look like in the future. That’s where your faith comes in. I do know you can do it — both the writing/learning and serving the Master part. 🙂

    Sa tanda kong ito I’m still on the journey. The sea is rough and calm at different times. A lot of times doubts and fears cloud the vision but your inner compass tells you keep going straight and you keep going.

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